I've mentioned this once a while back. I'm writing a collection of short spooky, terrifying, or otherwise bizarre stories accompanied by jittery spider-handed drawings (for I have spiders-for-hands, you see) of wispy ghost things and gigantic jelly-pigs.
Like these books from my childhood. - Only without all the stories simply being, "Once upon a time there was a dude all by himself. He was all, 'boy, I sure am by myself!' Suddenly he heard a noise.
BLIZZOOblABBA!
'What was that?' he asked. 'Who's there?'
BLIZZOOBLIZZOOBLABBA!
'Wha-'
BLIZZARGEBABLOOBY
'EH?'
BLEEAEEEEEEAAAARGHHHBLUH!
IT WAS GHOSTPERSONMANS!
THE END."
Now, as a Porter, I'm sure you know I've procrastinated and put this thing off as hard as my meaty little arms could. I, however, don't wish to do that anymore. I'm going to get this thing done and I want YOUR help!
This is a call to arms for any and all Porters/Creaths. You know who you are. The offer stands for my creative non-PorterCreath friends as well, but I don't imagine any would be interested. What is the offer, you ask?
I need to add more meat to my story book! You guys can all write better than me! Why not make this a family venture and put all our incredibly thick heads together to form some kind of humongous failure of a Voltron with four marzipan legs and no head.
I'd like anything you guys feel like writing. Length and subject matter are of no concern. They can be dead serious or completely goofy. They can even be something you've written and posted somewhere else already. Anything!
And then when we get enough stories together, I'd like to publish this thing through this site (click for link to lulu.com) unless any of you have any better ideas. Then we'll split all five dollars we gain from this amongst ourselves and wish we spent our time more wisely. Let me know if you want in!
UPDATE: In the comments Tony suggested a stream of consciousness Choose Your Own Adventure thing. Whether he was joking or not, I actually like that idea, too. Charlie and I were planning on making one in the near future anyway.
I'm not sure how we'd all do that, though. Maybe we all take turns writing different pages and scenarios. Maybe we can do that after my first idea. Maybe we can do both at the same time? Maybe we ignore the first and do the Choose Your Own Adventure? MAYBE we ignore ALL of those options and opt to write a series of disturbing fan-mail to various breakfast products. "I want you to know, Mini-Wheats, that I'm bringing you with me when I die."
Idunno!
I still love those scary stories to tell in the dark, they can be a bit impish...Yes I totally want in, I am tired of wasting away the miniscule amount of creativity that I have left.
ReplyDeleteActually I have started a blog on this very site (bloggers.something or other) it is titled the mangled mouth. A night ago i was bored and sleepy and decided to write a small blurb right off the top o my hat called Beware the Travelling...if you'd like, you can snatch that little gem of deceit straight out from my grubby clutches!
ReplyDeleteCooled legumes to you, sir! You can send me whatever through the Google Mail or the Facebook.
ReplyDeletetheimpar@gmail.com
so you want to create an amorphous story using blogspot software? We contribute by writing in this blogspaught and you string them together in some fashion? Do you think it will end up like a stream of consciousness choose your own adventure? In fact, I won't contribute unless it is guaranteed to be a stream of consciousness choose your own adventure, replete with horrible art from a time long gone.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I saw "Beware the Traveling" and that's kinda what prompted me to make this post in the first place. I commented there.
ReplyDeleteTony:
ReplyDeleteYes and no (but yes)
I forgot to tell anyone where they should submit their writing. I was thinking maybe to my email or something theimpar@gmail.com
Charlie and I actually are going to do a Choose Your Own Adventure type thing replete with horrible art from a time long gone. We were reading Hyperspace by Edward Packard when we started coming up with really awful ideas. I don't see why we can't do that, too.
Let's shall. How would I get something like that started?
Oh, I see where the confusion was. It was the linked "this site" that made it look like I was referring to THIS blogspot site thingy.
ReplyDeleteI meant, I'd like to publish it at lulu.com
I'll fix the post to clarify that.
See that you do. And MIND the hat!
ReplyDeleteBRYDEN SAID...
ReplyDeleteMAKE A MASSIVE CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOOK THAT IS 500+ PAGES LONG AND HAS AT LEAST 20 CHOICES PER STORY ARC!!!!!!!!!
YOU KNOW YOU WOULD GET BIZ-ANK ON THE PUBLISHING BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN DO BEFORE!!!!!
I like the idea, blood. I hate myself not checking this blog everyday. Eh, could have caught it earlier. I'll be sure to add anything not consistent of anything I've yet written. For maximum efficiency, blood. But you know we need to know what type of thing this is. It's certain that it is a conscious adventure book? I think some of us may need explaining of how this function of writers would work with an adventure book.
ReplyDeleteOr is it just as simple as we each have our own section? Or own combining sections? Eh?! EH?!
And of course i need not require any sale profit from this, because this rocks just working together. And to have my work despised by people i don't know, it rocks. I wasn't expecting anything prior to that anyway. Always for fun it is.
WOO-WEE! I WISH I HAD ME SOME ICE CREAM!
ReplyDeleteNo, in all seriousness. Both ideas are perfect. Choose Your Own Adventure replete with horrible art from a time long gone. That and the assortment of story party time.
I got myself working on a sweet story called "The Canvas" in which the guy is pretty cool and he's afraid and some weird stuff. Then he fights a river.
You're right Bryden, we need the longest Chose Your Own Adventure ever with super awesome outcomes with each different choice you make out of like 20 per choice.
Awesome, I was just...! I was.
Blood.
ReplyDeleteAnd by "some of us may need explaining," I'm sure you mean "all of me, Bacon Requiem."
Once I have all the stories, then I'll decide how to organize everything. I'm pretty sure I'm not giving everyone their own section in the book. Unless they all give me a bunch of stories, that's not even an option.
Here's the condensed version:
I'm putting together a book of short stories. Anyone want to add a story or two to pad this thing out?
The stream-of-consciousness choose your own adventure book (not a conscious choose your own adventure book. We can't do that yet with today's simple paper technology) is a separate idea that I've decided to do after this idea.